It’s not been the best of weekends, even though it’s August Bank Holiday weekend so its a day longer than usual (four days in a row off work - nice).

To begin with, Anad’s computer started making “I’m dying” noises, and popping up unusual errors on the screen. Turns out his graphics card is failing. Although he was intending to upgrade his system anyway.

Then, yesterday we kept getting dropouts on the internet. It would show we were still connected but bandwidth would go down to zero. Not just in Second Life, but it was showing on the router as well. So he picks up the phone to call AOL about it… and the phone was dead. Then it came back. Then it went dead again. So these dropouts of zero bandwidth are the actual phone line going temporarily dead. A phone call to BT support gave us the mysterious information that our line is not a BT line.

Well, it should be. But, back to April last year we got a mysterious email from AOL saying that as our line was no longer going to be a BT line they couldn’t serve us with broadband any more. Further investigation then, led us to understand that Talk Talk had taken over running the line. A few phonecalls then, including to OFCOM (the Telephone service ombudsmans office) seemed to resolve the issue. At least, AOL continued to work fine, even better than before actually, so we just assumed that whatever had gone wrong, was fixed.

Um, no. So after failing to get anywhere with BT, we called Talk Talk. And yes, our telephone number is a Tak Talk number. Which is registered to a different name and address, since last, oh May. Coincidence not. (The fact that this telephone number has been ours since 1987 apparently doesn’t count). We actually suspect a neighbour and a typing error, actually.

So there are two weird things about this. First, the other customer has been paying our telephone bill since May (not that it would be very high, we hardly ever use it anyway - if I’d known I’d have called California and Chicago). I did think it odd that we hadn’t received our latest bill. Second, the internet still works, so any of AOL’s complaints of “Our service won’t work on anything but a BT line” don’t wash because we’ve had AOL on a non-BT line for 4 months and it’s been running better than it ever did under BT.

Or at least it did work until last night. We still don’t know what’s up with that.. Tried the net this morning and it’s about the same- on and off all the time. .

On the other hand we do still have the mobile broadband thingy which we used while we were on holiday, and it’s easy enough to top it up (it works like a mobile pay-as-you-go). Its not ideal, it would be only on the laptop, and only one of the family could use it at a time, but as an emergency measure it does mean that we won’t be without internet completely if it doesn’t get resolved soon.

And to add insult to injury, I switched on the coffee machine this morning, heard a crack, and the jug’s broke.

Strange, how Arhuaine was mentioned on the DP mailing list yesterday, exactly a year to the day since she passed.

I cried, again. And looking back over the past year I can see that I have not been coping so well. I don’t front so much, I’m tending to let Karl and Russ have more time, particularly online. Really it’s just work, and my Tuesday nights out, and that’s it. Maybe I need a new hobby or something. I need to talk to Henlith more, I think. I miss her too. Maybe I just need more friends to chat with.

Does it ever get any better, this whole grief business?

Years ago we had a diary or few on Diary-X. Then one day the DX servers crashed and everything was lost. Apparently, in the 3 years since then, some people have been working on the old code and getting a new diary system up and running again. Well, they finally have an alpha version of the software up and running at Codexed (http://www.codexed.com/), and so we have snagged our username and set one up at ~nosselinfea (http://www.codexed.com/~nosselinfea/).

Of course it’s been so long that none of us can remember the first thing about coding HTML or CSS for the template (or maybe it was Arhuaine that knew it all, and now she’s gone we’re kind of stumped). Anyway thanks to Bud and a suggestion made on the DP list, we searched for the old DX on the Wayback Machine, and actually found a couple of dozen entries spanning 4 years and 4 different templates. Of course all the old graphics were gone but I managed to snag one of the templates, tweak it, put in a different graphic (the one we use on IJ) and there we go. I’m not entirely happy with it just yet but it sure beats the plain text one, which is the only one currently up on the site.

And there are things that we have got used to on other blog sites that we don’t have here. Comments. RSS feeds. Friends lists. Its very bare bones. Although it is only an Alpha project.

It brings back memories, too, and I don’t just mean reading that handful of old entries. The whole thing, the way the templates are, the substitutions (which I can’t remember how to use). I can’t remember how to find the archives either. But, yay for the wayback machine, and for nostalgia.

I just hope they’re remembering to run backups this time…

Soo… Its been a while since we updated, and I decided that we ought to do just that. Hmm lets see, since we got back from the holiday things have been fairly ordinary. Work was tough - low call volumes and very low sales, and August has started similarly, so earnings are going to be down for a while I suspect. Also our manager is moving on to new pastures in 3 weeks, so we’re getting a new one. Have met her already, she’s nice.

and…

um…

okay that is why I’ve not updated. I’ve actually not got anything to say. Ho hum. My life is so boring.

Oh there is one more thing. Some of you may remember the old diary-X? Well after it crashed there was a group of people talking about getting it up and running again, in some form or another. Well, they did. Codexed (http://codexed.com/). We’ve signed up, under “nosselinfea (http://www.codexed.com/~nosselinfea)” of course. Now all we have to do is remember how to code HTML. It’s been years since we did that.

Spell your name as it sounds?
Which name? RUSS-an-doll or NELL-yah-FIN-way or mai-TEE-moh or … well let’s not bother with the other one.

Are you available?
no

Favorite color(s)?
blue and purple

Least favorite color?
yellow

What are you listening to?
nothing

Are you happy with your life right now?
umm.. half-happy.

What are you doing right now?
this meme, silly

Favorite smell?
chocolate.

How do you make money?
I don’t. I let my head-mates do that.

Are you outgoing?
Not as much as I want to be.

Do you like Big Mac’s?
Ugh. MacDonalds is the reason I went vegetarian

Do you own big sunglasses?
No

Where do you wish you were right now?
Oxford. I want to live there.

Did you ever receive an engagement ring?
Kano gave me trinkets and things and while many of them meant “I love you”, none of them meant “Let’s get married”. It was never an option.

Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
No

Do you know how to swim?
Yes, as a means of survival, but I have no real desire to leap into water just for fun.

Do you like roller coasters?
I’ve never been on one. I expect I would hate it.

Does your home have a bookcase?
Yes, but we have too many books to fit in it, and they’re all over the house.

Have you ever been to America?
Not in this body, but some of my headmates have.

Have you ever gone fishing?
Long time ago, not in this body.

Have you ever seen a celebrity?
We saw Orlando Bloom last year.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle?
No. Oddly though, one of my brothers has developed a passion for them this time round.

How many jobs have you had?
umm… Prince, Soldier, Kinslayer.

How tall are you?
6′11″ and a bit. Not quite 7 feet. (Althought he physical body is 5′6″)

Last person you hung out with?
Mac

Last thing you said out loud?
“come on then” to the dog.

Last person you were in a car with?
Anadrael. The only person I ever go in a car with.

Last time you ate at McDonalds?
I avoid it like the plague and I complain at Cas every time he goes in one.

What time did you wake up?
about 9.30am

Do you have a best friend?
I have several. Grey, Mac, Karl, Cas.

Does your crush like you back?
I don’t have a crush that I don’t already sleep with.

What did you do two nights ago?
slept

Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
Asleep

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
“Well that was a fucking weird dream”

What are your plans for this weekend?
Movies. Either Hancock or Batman, we want to see both.

Coke or Pepsi?
I can’t tell the difference. I don’t really like either.

What do you dislike at the moment?
having a cold

What did you dream last night?
Very weird dream about Kano and a Silmaril. It’s the first time I’ve dreamed in months.

What’s the last TV show you watched?
We very rarely watch TV

What is your favorite piece of jewellery?
I don’t own any now.

Do you always lock your bedroom door?
No. we leave it open so the dog can come in and out.

Are you on any medication?
We take daily antihistamines for hay fever this time of year

Have you ever cut your own hair?
No

Where’s your favorite place to be?
Anywhere with Sindo..

Is there someone you haven’t seen in a while and miss?
Lots of people. Kano. Ambarussa. Turko. Uncle Nolo.

Who was the last text you sent to?
I don’t text people.

What did the last text you received say?
No-one ever texts me either.

Do you care what people think about you?
Yes. Too much, perhaps.

Last new person you met?
hmm. Ashmael I think.

Did you work today?
Not yet but we will be later. I of course will be avoiding front. I hate that job.

Do you like ketchup?
not especially

What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
At least there’s no Morgoth this time.

What color are your pillow cases?
burgundy-red

Have you ever been to California/Chicago?
Oh eru. I want to go to Chicago because that’s where Sindo lives. And Karl wants to go to Cali, because that’s where his Heste lives. Maybe one day we’ll be able to do both.

What is the thing that you would most like to change about you?
I’d like to be more motivated and less lazy.

What celebrities do people say you look like?
I’ve been told that I look like Axl Rose did when he was young and good-looking.

I dreamed about Findekano last night. I dreamed that we had a Silmaril, and we argued about which one of us was to keep it. He’d had it first and I’d taken it from him, then he took it from me again. It was a strange sort of dream, with places from past and present merged into one another. There was Himring, but with modern earth amenities. Then we were in the park in Perth. At one point I was chasing him but I had lost because I could not put on my shoes as quickly as he did.

Eventually I caught him. We kissed, and more. I said to him that if we lived together we could both keep the Silmaril. I woke up before he answered.

Apprehension

So… Heste should be arriving here tomorrow afternoon, assuming nothing goes wrong with his schedule. Now this time last year, the day before the London visit, I was bouncing off the walls with excitement. This time… I’m not. Well partly I am, it’s just… I know there needs to be a long serious talk, and I know there’s going to be a lot of tears. And I’m partly dreading that. But the truth is, if you have an online relationship with someone, it’s not a relationship if they’re hardly ever online. Is it?

Dammit I wish he could just stay permanently.

Several things.

Internet died last night. We phoned support to find out if it was them or us. The call-handler (who I can only assume is working out his notice or something) said that one of the main servers had gone down and… and here is his exact words… “…one of the engineers just ran through the office going ‘Ohfuck ohfuck ohfuck’.” Amusing as that may be, I know that call handlers are not allowed to say things like that to customers, so I hope the poor guy doesn’t get sacked for that.

So whilst waiting for the net to come back (they said it would take 2-3 hours but by that time it was too late to bother trying to get back) killed time by ripping some CDs that we were meant to have done a while back. There are 5 of them, that I found lying on the floor in a park while I was out walking the dog. Actually there had been a lot more than 5 but most were broken, presumably they’d been ones dumped by someone who robbed a car. I salvaged the ones that were intact and brought them home. They were all “greatest hits” type stuff from the 1980s - Culture Club, Fleetwood Mac, Eurhythmics and Jamiroquai, plus disk 2 (out of 5) of a disco set. I ripped them all anyway, even though we’d probably not listen to most of it. Never know when we might need to loan something to someone for some cheesy disco set in SL. (Russ keeps thinking vaguely about doing DJing there but we’d need a much more diverse music collection if he’s even going to consider about it).

And then Karl started writing his next novel, the one based loosely on Second Life (although he’s using made-up names for everything except himself). Up to now he’s had a lot of good world ideas but no actual plot. Well over the weekend, plot happened, and it’s all up on the Second Life forums. Drama about counterfeit crime, which is all quite exciting, so off he went, writing 2000 words last night and going to bed at 1.30am.

Which is why I overslept to 10.30am this morning. Thanks a lot, Karl.

Went out yesterday to see Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. And despite hearing a lot of people saying it was no good, I actually did enjoy it. Okay it’s not as good as the third one but I didn’t expect it to be anyway. And don’t forget it’s not meant to be realistic, it’s a comic book story. I was a little surprised that the story included aliens, but that fits with the comic books of the 1950s so that’s okay too. My main complaint was that they laid on the slapstick comedy a little too thick. And is it my imagination, or have they set up Shia LeBeouf to pick up the reins and do another series? I can’t say more than that without giving away spoilers but I think so. He looks good too, he’s a fine young actor.

But OMG Harrison Ford is looking old. Really old. Older than he is, even. It made me sad, because Harrison Ford, as both Indy and Han Solo, was my childhood hero, and someone I always aspired to be. And there was one point in the film I nearly had to get up and leave. I thought they were spiders, at first. They were actually termites, but knowing that didn’t help much. I’m glad I stayed though.